My Best Employee is Making Everyone Miserable
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Dear Toby,
My highest-performing, best employee is also becoming my biggest headache. They bring in a lot of revenue, clients love them, and they know the business inside out. But they interrupt people, dismiss ideas, hoard information, and make newer employees feel stupid for asking questions.
Two good employees have now complained, but I am nervous about confronting this person. I cannot afford to lose their results. Am I supposed to tolerate a difficult personality because they are so valuable to the business?
Signed, Held Hostage by a Higher Performer in Hamilton
Dear Held Hostage,
Ah, the high-performing headache: the employee who hits every target while leaving a small trail of emotional debris behind them.
Here is the hard truth. Results matter, but how someone gets those results is also part of performance. If one person succeeds by making everyone around them less effective, you do not have a star employee. You have a business risk with impressive numbers.
Start with facts, not labels
Do not walk into the conversation calling the employee toxic, difficult, or intimidating. Those are conclusions. Bring specific examples of observable behaviour and explain the impact.
They interrupted a colleague three times during a client-planning meeting.
They withheld information another employee needed to complete a task.
They dismissed a question by saying the answer should have been obvious.
Specific examples make the conversation fair and give the employee something concrete to change.
Have the conversation clearly
CRA generally looks at a few core areas.
1. Control
Do not bury the message under ten minutes of praise. Acknowledge the value they bring, then name the concern directly. You might say:
"Your results are strong, and your knowledge is valuable. I also need to address how you are working with the team. I have observed several situations where colleagues were interrupted, dismissed, or did not receive information they needed. That behaviour is affecting trust and team performance. Going forward, I expect you to share information, respond respectfully to questions, and make space for other people to contribute."
Make the new expectations measurable
Telling someone to be nicer is not a performance plan. Define what improvement looks like. For example:
No interrupting or speaking over colleagues in meetings.
Required information is shared through the agreed team system.
Feedback is delivered privately and respectfully.
Questions from newer employees are answered without sarcasm or belittling comments.
Set a follow-up date. Document the conversation. Check in with the employee, and pay attention to whether the team experiences a real change, not just a temporary charm offensive.
Offer support without excusing the behaviour
The employee may genuinely lack self-awareness, communication skills, or experience working collaboratively. Coaching can help. Clear meeting norms, leadership training, or regular feedback may also help. Support is appropriate. Special immunity is not.
Be willing to make a decision
If the employee understands the expectations, receives support, and still refuses to change, you have your answer. Keeping one high performer is rarely worth losing several solid employees, damaging psychological safety, or teaching the team that revenue buys permission to behave badly.
The most expensive employee is not always the one with the highest salary. Sometimes it is the person whose behaviour quietly drives everyone else out the door.
Signed, Toby
Disclaimer: The "Dear Toby" advice column is designed to provide general HR insights and guidance but should not be taken as legal advice. Every business and situation is unique, and employment laws vary by jurisdiction. Before implementing any advice from this column, we recommend consulting with a qualified HR professional or legal expert to ensure it aligns with your specific circumstances.
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